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02 April 2006

Innovative Ways of Ordering Pizza

Sian of just dialing, waiting and paying? Here are some innovative (OK, OK, wu liao) ways of ordering pizza…

1. Ask them if you can keep the box. When they say yes, break into tears and go, “Thank you! Thank you so much! God bless you!” etc.

2. Ask them to make sure your pizza is really dead – not like the last time like that.

3. Ask them to confirm exactly how many dolphins had to be killed in order to make your pizza.

4. When they repeat your order back to you, change it slightly. Do this three or four times.

5. Ask them if they have one inch pizzas.

6. Ask them acherly, hor, how come they measure their pizzas in inches and not centimetres, ha?

7. When they ask, “Will that be all?”, reply angrily: “Why, not satisfied, ah? I order so little so you see me no up, is it? Neh’mine! Steady! Later I call my brother all come to your shop and settle!”

8. Ask what the order taker is wearing, and when he or she answers, go, “Mmmm.”

9. Ask them to arrange the pepperoni in the shape of Hello Kitty.

10. In sign language. Over the phone.

11. Tell the order taker to speak very softly, because the “Men in White” are tapping your line.

12. Ask them to hold on, then shout in a child’s voice, “Mummy, can borrow me fifty loller buy pizza?”

13. Pretend the pizza hotline is the NKF donation line, and ask the pizza guy to do ridiculous and unhealthy stunts before you hand over your money.

Source: www.talkingcock.com